Girls with kidney obstructions ROCK!!!

So hey, welcome back!
Last year I had the pleasure of meeting a young, chunky, pasty, female patient.
She was a chatty girl who somehow, ended up with both kidneys being blocked.
The pressure really started to build up both her kidneys. If left untreated this can be very serious. The pain is brutal and you can die from the toxins that build up in your blood. So the immediate course of treatment, from our perspective, is to insert a small tube into the kidney and allow it to drain. These tubes enter through the back and go into the kidney. The tube is then connected to a bag that will collect the urine as it drains. The tube can remain in place as long as needed. Some of our patients have had neph tubes for years; mostly men who have had bladder cancer or are missing a bladder for some reason.
Sorry, back to the girl. Usually the tubes remain in place pretty well, but.....
this girl's tubes kept "falling out" at least once a week for about a month. Then on a weekend, I was called in urgently to reinsert both of this girl's tubes for the 5th time in a month. I was pissed. The Steelers game had just started when the call came. I was most annoyed. I get the girl into our exam room and started my "your going to get an infection from hell" speech. When it dawned on me that tubes don't usually just "fall out" once a week. So I asked her,"Why is it that you can't keep your tubes in? Everyone else that has them doesn't have this problem!" Then she got this scared look on her face and started to cry.....I felt like and asshole but I still wanted an answer. So I pressed her..."Why?!"
Her answer left me speechless! And I quote," Ummm...its my boyfriend. When he DOES ME from behind, he pulls on the tubes for leverage and they always come out."
I have never been as "not horny" as I was in that moment there. Ever!

Crack impares judment

So the other day we had a guy in his 30's who's got cancer. He will need chemo therapy. So he was supposed to get a chest port inserted. So that the chemo can get delivered without trashing his veins. This procedure is truly minor surgery.
Some people require very little to no sedation. Its not that painful a procedure.
Really. So man in his 30's comes in to have this done. We explain everything to him. What he's going to feel, how long it will take, etc. He thought we were going to, "knock him out with drugs and put a tube down his throat just like on ER!" We explained again how dangerous it can be to use anesthesia for a minor procedure. Those drugs are super strong and can increase your risks for heart attack, respitory distress, you know... evil stuff.
So the man cancels the procedure on the spot unless he gets anesthesia. Getting a team of Anesthesiologists to come down on a minutes notice for an elective case is just not happening. So one of our super nice surgeons takes it upon himself to squeeze the guy in the following day with anesthesia. The coordination took up most of the surgeon's afternoon. But he set it all up.
Following day: Patient was scheduled for 10am. The surgery team is ready. The anesthesiologist's team is ready. The OR room was ready.....then the patient calls and said," I ain't coming forget it"
Wow what a collosal waste of time!!! I guess cancer wins. Turns out the man is a crack addict. I guess he won't be around much longer to make any more stupid decisions. Best of luck sir, I hope the high is worth it.

Here we go

Hi, my current life is as follows:I work in a hospital, a lot. I work in the Angio dept. I work pretty hard some days. Lately the weather has been keeping the sick at home. But that only lasts so long. Right after Christmas and New years end.....the hammer falls. Hard. Some nights we don't leave until 9 or 10 pm. We start at 7:30am. Anyway this blog is intended to tell stories. Something I'm good at. I got lots of them. Some happy, some sad, some funny and some just plain weird but all are things that have really happened.