Funny things I've heard.....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
MY HOPE FOR YOU ALL IS THAT THIS YEAR IS THE BEST EVER!

These are short and fun.

An 80 year old lady with a broken hip came in for a PICC line. I asked her,"So how
did you break your hip?" She says,"I dumped my motorcycle at Bike week in Daytona! Its a shame too that was a sweet ride!" She's 80!!!

A little old man, about 75 years old, came in for a routine chole tube check. As I
was getting him ready I asked if he had any allergies an he said,"Just to cocaine...
it makes me crazy." I didn't follow that up.

I was taking a chest x-ray of a man with a horrible cough. I asked him how long he'd
had it. He said that it came and went often. So I asked if he smoked. He said he'd been smoking for about 40 years. Then he said,"I think I got a touch of that Emphysema that's goin' round."

A very attractive middle aged woman came in for a Uterine Fibroid Embolization. She seemed a little nervous so I started talking to her about her life. I found out that she was a teacher, that she was single and really that's all the excuse I needed to start my flirtations. So I said," This town is ridiculous, how does a town with this
many guys let you get away? No boyfriend, no husband, no kids? How does that happen?
I should take you out myself!" She says,"Oh I can't go out with you.....I'm a Nun!"
I looked upward and said,"Good one God, You got me!!" Everyone had a BIG laugh.
On me. Great.

Gonzo out.