Dumb techs do dumb things

About a hundred years ago I worked with this really dumb tech. We called him
Gump. He was Duh-um! One day Gump was down in the ER taking X-rays, when a young girl came in on a stretcher. She had been in a bad car accident. Hit from behind.
She was in a neckbrace and on a backboard all strapped in. So Gump slid her onto the table and began taking her X-rays. The ER docs thought that she might have broken her neck. Normally we take about 5-7 films in a case like this. About halfway through the neck series she told Gump that she had to pee. Usually we put people on a bedpan. What did Gump do?? He sat her up, got her off the table, WALKED HER down the hall, about 50 feet, to the bathroom and left her there so she could pee. He told her to go back to X-ray when she was done so he could finish her films. Risking possible paralysis.
Just then the Tech supervisor stopped by to see what was going on, when who should limp thought the door?? You guessed it....the patient!!!
I can still hear it," I got fired Lieutenant Dan!"
No patients were harmed in the making of this story. Thank God!!
Laters

Do Not Resuscitate unless you know how to 180

Where I work we have some really interesting patients from ALL walks of life.
Recently I met a man who had a new slant on an old standby. The DNR. For those of you who may not know what that is: It is a Do Not Resuscitate order. If you are having a surgical procedure they should mention it. If not you may want to look into it. It states that in the event of your procedure going awry you wish or do not wish to have heroic measures implemented on your behalf.

OK back to our patient, he was going to have a "big" procedure called a TIPS. Which is: A transjugular intrahepatic portosystemic shunt, is an artificial channel in the liver from the portal vein to a hepatic vein (for blood). It is created endovascularly (via the blood vessels) by physicians via the jugular vein.
It is used to treat portal hypertension (which often is due to scarring of the liver (liver cirrhosis)) which frequently leads to bleeding esophageal varices.
Its a big deal!

We asked him if he had a DNR. He said no. Then he said," I don't want any heroics....
if my body can't handle this procedure then so be it. I don't want to end up on a breathing machine with a bunch of tubes sticking out of me.....just let me die!!
Unless!.... there's the slightest chance that I will be OK, you know, like I am now."
I thought to myself,"But your liver is failing...."

I hope to be as decisive someday.

Peace out.